Review: The Confession by Jo Spain


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Sadly, my little run of five star reviews is over and its all thanks to one book – the hugely over-hyped “The Confession” by Jo Spain. Not only is this book not really about a confession (the police seem to have worked out what has happened before anyone confesses anything – unless this refers to the character who turns himself in initially, which isn’t a confession from reader’s perspective because we literally see him commit the crime) it’s also nowhere near as good as the blurb makes it out to be.

On first glance, the novel sounds incredibly intriguing. The premise states: “You find out who did it on the very first page. On the last page you’ll find out why”. Oooh, I thought. This will keep me in suspense! Except, this wasn’t a truthful description either. You find out exactly what happened towards the end of the novel (you can work it out for yourself before the characters confirm everything) but it’s definitely not a last page cliff hanger.

At first, you do see a crime being committed (at least this part lives up to the snappy premise) which is unusual but the novel quickly descend towards the formulaic police investigation with a timeslip back so the reader can see how events unfolded from the p.o.v of the victim’s wife and the perpetrator. Folded into this story are the events of the financial crash in Ireland (oooh, exciting) and one of my major bugbears was that the situation wasn’t explained in nearly enough detail. The whole event was discussed through the eyes of Julie, the victim’s wife, who “didn’t understand” banking – despite her husband owning a bloody bank and I felt like this was a bit of a cop out by the author. I was a business student during the early 2000’s so I could vaguely remember the “Celtic Tiger” but for younger readers or those who are non-UK/Irish then the whole boom and bust situation really needed more depth. I also felt that the term “Celtic Tiger” was waaaay overused by the author and by the end of the book had really started to grate on me.

As far as characters go, this book features some of the most unlikeable people ever. There’s Harry, the stereotypical super rich banker – all flash cars, prostitutes and drugs; J.P., the somewhat derranged poor-person-perpetrator and Julie, the totally wet “I’m so in love with my twat of a husband” wife. Of all of them, I found Julie the most frustrating. She was all “I think my husband is cheating! I can’t confront him though!” and “If I leave I’ll have no money and nowhere to go!” despite the fact her husband was so rich she could have easily squirrelled some cash away, she had a full time job and was from a big family who were all on her side. Even when certain allegations about Harry come to light -serious, criminal allegations that potentially put her in danger – she still goes back to him. The explanation given is that “she loves him” and she believes marriage is for life. There’s no suggestion that she’s abused or has any kind of mental health issues (at first) so, personally, I found this pretty hard to stomach.

I was surprised to learn that the author, Jo Spain, was a woman as she just doesn’t write realistic, relatable female characters. For instance, when Julie has a period (pertinent because, of course, Julie wants a baby despite all of the problems in her marriage) she refers to it as “a telltale splash of blood in the toilet each month”. Now, without getting graphic, that’s just not what happens. I genuinely found the way that she depicts women incredibly old fashioned and sexist – the book literally reads like something by Stephen King in the 80’s. All of the women were described by their personal attributes (i.e. size of their boobs), they all threw themselves at Harry and the only female character with any agency was one of the police officers, who was described as obese, with thin flat hair. I’m not saying that you can’t be super hot as an overweight woman with fine hair (because you can) but just to clarify that this woman is not the same as the others (who all have large breasts, pretty faces, skimpy dresses and are slender – because that’s what all men everywhere like) one of the other officers makes some kind of sexual innuendo towards her and she acknowledges that he’s clearly throwing her a bone.

So – pretty girls are sexual playthings of the big strong cocky men, clever girls are fat and ugly. Got it? Then I’ll continue…

I could have forgiven *some* of the above points if the story was actually shocking or exciting – but it kind of wasn’t. Once you work out how everyone relates to everyone else, you expect some kind of super salacious twist – but it just wasn’t there. The ending is actually pretty humdrum. Yawn.

Overall, I really didn’t enjoy this book. I’m not a fan of a crime thriller in general, so perhaps if you really enjoy this genre you may get more from this book than I did. It really wasn’t for me though.

Rating: 2/5
Great premise but annoying characters and a dull ending ruined it.

Please note that I read this book for free via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. Thanks, Netgalley!

8 thoughts on “Review: The Confession by Jo Spain

  1. Oh that’s a shame your run of 5* is over. That premise did sound interesting- although in a pretty little liars “this wants to keep me unnecessarily hooked on nothing” kind of way- fool me once (well for about 5 seasons) but never again! πŸ˜‰ (apologies for the unnecessarily long joke πŸ˜‰ ) Shame this was formulaic Ugh all the characters sound dreadful too. Ermm someone needs to learn a bit about women’s biology- jeez. O-kay- the women sound awfully portrayed. Doesn’t sound worth reading
    (your review was ridiculously entertaining though!)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha! Well, all good things must come to an end. I know, I was amazed this was written by a woman. There literally wasn’t one description of a character that didn’t include size and shape of boobs. Plus that bit about periods made me laugh out loud. If only!

      Ever since you wrote that discussion piece about politics being shoehorned into books I’ve become hyper aware of it – although it made sense in this novel to include some background to the financial crash it was such a one sided, glossed over couple of sentences with such stereotypical fat cat banker characters that it made me even angrier than usual. I can tell this is going to be a new bugbear after “women who could be replaced with an attractive lamp and it would make no difference to the storyline”!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. haha yes! hahaha yes it does always amaze me that some women can just reduce female characters down to *boobs*- but it does happen πŸ˜‰ (not that it’s good when men do it either πŸ˜‰ )

        hahaha well that’s an interesting (unintended) consequence LOL! Yeah that does make sense… just they obviously could’ve done it better. hahaha πŸ˜‚ I’ll have to agree with you there- “lampshade characters” are far from de-light-ful!! πŸ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh god…πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I love your truly terrible puns. You should make a little collection of them and write a post about it. People would go bananas for it πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

        Liked by 1 person

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